When you put yourself out into the world in any form, you’re going to receive some negative comments. As a full-time blogger, I deal with this on a daily basis! To let my fear of negativity dictate my goals and my life would be a huge mistake. Find out what I do to deal with the hateful and mean comments online.
A Question I Get All The Time
So, as you all know, my husband quit his job back in May for us to pursue blogging full time. Since then, it has been nothing short of amazing.
Recently though, I just launched my brand new course,ย Create Your Blog Dream, and along with it I have been getting a lot of questions about blogging and how I handle all the comments. So I thought I would answer the biggest question: how I deal with all the negativity that comes along with building an online audience, here on the blog.
It is a little intimidating
As I continue growing an audience on my blog, my YouTube channel, Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram, I also attract a lot of negativity.
It is just a fact of life that the more people you are in front of, the more people are there to criticize you.
I find a lot of people are scared to begin blogging because of negative feedback and also because they are scared to put themselves out there.
When you put yourself out there and your blog grows, you have people that are in your real life that will come up to you at church and tell you they watched your videos or people that say, “What do you think about this since you talked about this on your blog?” It can definitely be a little bit scary and intimidating to know that people are watching you, especially people you know.
It’s almost okay when you picture it as a bunch of random strangers, but when they are people you know in your real life who are listening to you say these words, it is a bit intimidating and there does come some negativity.
I’m not an expert
I know putting yourself out there as an expert can be a little scary and I try to bring people into my life (whether that be to bring people into my learning experience, in home making, DIY projects, or recipe development) rather than putting myself out there as an expert – because that is super scary to me.
I have never had negativity before
Now I have to say, I have never had negativity in my real life. No one has ever said anything to me that has been negative from people that I know. But if I put out aย Facebook or YouTube channel that gets a hundred thousand+ views, you can bet there are a few people who want to tell me everything that is wrong with me: my physical appearance, my demeanor, things that I said wrong. You would not believe the amount of things people can come up with to criticize.
Originally, it didn’t stop me from starting my blog, but it definitely hurt the minute I realized it was happening. Because at first, everything was well received and I didn’t have a very big audience so the twenty people who saw it said it was good.
It is just normal
But now, I get negativity all the time.
Seriously, I could get on my Facebook andย YouTube right now,ย and find twenty comments from people who think I am the worst person in the world.
But, I have to say, it just gets easier with time and honestly, it just gets easier the more it happens.
You have to realize that it is a problem with the person writing the negative post, not you. If someone is willing to get on the internet, watch a video long enough or read enough of a blog post to know what they don’t like, and then comment, that says something about the commenter.
Another thing you have to know: you have to focus on the positive things people say. I find myself doing this. I will tell my husband the negatives like, “So and so said this and they said this about this.โ But then I’m like, โWait a minute! 90% of the comments were โLisa, Thank you so much. This tutorial really helped me. I love this recipe!โ” So, as a blogger, you need to focus on the positive comments that are written.
You also have to realize that your goals are bigger than the random troll sitting in their basement three states over, and grasp the fact that they do not have the power to determine what you do. So, if you are going to stop creating your dream, or building up to your goal, or putting up content, or building an audience … because you are worried about the opinion of someone you don’t even know and who probably goes around doing this all day to everyone they see, then you as a blogger are not going to make it very far because there is just simply going to be negativity.
Everybody in the media world gets negativity
I think it just helps to know other people experience it too. I know it helps me. So, when I first startedย YouTube and I had around ten thousand subscribers, I reached out to my blogging friend Christina, from The DIY Mommy. I asked her, “What’s up with YouTube? It seems worse.” When I was just posting onย Instagram, I never got any negative comments. But putting yourself out there on a video – people, for whatever reason, feel like they can just attack you more when they see your face, or your hand movements, or your facial expressions. For whatever reason, they feel enough of a connection with you to attack you and say negative things.
It also helps to know other people deal with negativity too, because I realize the DIY Mommy – who creates beautiful content, who is a very successful YouTube and blogger, and makes her full time income from working online – gets negativity too. Knowing that just helped me realize negativity is part of the territory. There is nothing wrong with me, everyone who is in an influence position receives negative comments.
So, just knowing that other people are going through it helps. I guarantee you Joanna Gaines gets a crazy amount of negativity. Every time I go to my local grocery store, there on the cover of the tabloids is a TV celebrity and I am sure they get negativity too.
No matter who you are on the internet, negativity is always going happen and you must know it happens to others as well. Even to people who you think are awesome or someone you respect, just know they probably get negativity too.
It’s not about you
Also, negativity is not personal. It is more on the person who is saying it and you cannot let negativity stop you from living out your dream. No matter what you are creating, you have to be able to put yourself out there and it will be challenging, but it is the only way to reach those goals. The process of building an online audience always brings along some negativity.
Thumbs down on Youtube
On YouTube, there is the โthumbs downโ button and that drove me crazy in the beginning. In fact, it still does because I put out a video and right away I will get a thumbs down. I feel like somebody is out there waiting to give me a thumbs down. What bothers me more than anything else is that they don’t have to say anything along with it. They can just be completelyย anonymous, they don’t show their screen name, they just get to say they don’t like it – with no strings attached.
And you know, that’s hard. But you just get used to it, and I know for me to continue creating this income for my family, itโs going to take just letting the negativity roll off my back. Negativity is just part of it.
At the end of the day
And so, how do I deal with negativity?
1) I have just gotten used to it.
2) I know that other people are going through it too.
3) I am not going to let some random hater keep me from living out my ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย dream.
4) I just have to focus on the positive.
I hope this has been helpful to you if you are looking to start a blog, Youtube channel, or online audience of any kind!
Create Your Blog Dream
If you are looking to build your income, I created a course where I walk you through absolutely everything I have learned over the past three years to get to this point with my blog and online audience, and it is calledย Create Your Blog Dream.
In my new blogging course, I have 60+ video tutorials that walk you through everything from choosing brand colors, a name and a niche, plus tech tutorials like getting a domain name, setting up hosting, and installing WordPress. We talk photography tips, search engine optimization, and growing an email list. Everything you need to be successful is there. There is also an exclusive private Facebook group that you can use to bounce ideas off other bloggers, grow your tribe, and have your questions answered. No matter what your message is, whether you’re trying to grow a ministry, sell real estate, or promote your handmade candle business, I truly believe that blogging and growing an online platform is the way to do just that! In this course, I walk you through how to grow social followings on Facebook and Instagram, and how to create graphics for Pinterest to grow blog traffic.
Iโve totally accidental thumbs downed YouTube videos before, so maybe all your thumbs downs are just accidents too! ๐
Negativity often means youโre doing something right!
You are my inspiration! I found you years ago on etsy because I was on the hunt for grain sack something or other and there you were. Thank you for all you do!
I just want to say….I love everything you do, and I just subscribed. I just started a YT channel, and frankly, it’s frightening. BUT one encouragement: If you are getting negative comments then I think this means you’ve “made” it. ๐ Embrace them!
Hi Lisa, I an so glad you wrote this. I an a lady in her 60’s and don’t have to much in common with you except I love farmhouse things, eating healthy, and design. I an encouraged by you all the time. As the Bible says, “Don’t grow weary in doing good and in due time you will to the harvest.” You are doing good. Don’t stop. My husband is a teacher and teaches math to middle schoolers and had a you tube channel for math and just fun stuff with the kids. Right away he got negative things on his channel. Crazy? There are just people out there that have nothing else to do or talk about unless it’s about someone else. It’s their own issues they are dealing with, like you said. You are an encourager, keep going, you rock!!! Thank you.
That is so crazy that he would get negativity, but knowing the world out there, I believe it! Sounds like you and I actually have A LOT in common! Thank you so much for following along. ๐
I am so glad you posted this! I have been struggling every single day to start a YT channel, and this is what is holding me back. I know I have a lot of great content to share but one bad comment does seem to ruin the positive ones. It takes so much energy. But…..if I don’t, they win and they shouldn’t have the power to steal my joy. Thanks so much again! ox I will try and achieve my first YT video ๐
I’m a great grandma that really enjoys your blog. I’m so happy that you share your sweet family with us. Keep doing what your doing. I look forward to each new post and video.โค๏ธ
Wow, I so needed this post, I find myself working on a blog post or an article and worrying so much about the handful of people who might not like my content and then actually not sharing with the people who do love what I do! Thanks for sharing and being so candid, I’m encouraged to get back to work on a project I’ve been neglecting spending way too much energy worried if the trolls won’t like me!
Blessings!
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I actually put off starting my blog for two years because I was scared of the negativity and criticism Iโd receive. Youโve made some excellent points here. I have a feeling Iโll be referring to this post a lot!
Lisa,
You can’t take it personally because, truly, if someone doesn’t like your post or video, etc., they should just leave the page without leaving any comments. But, I see it happen all the time on a wide variety of sites – it doesn’t really matter what it is about.
I feel sorry for these people who leave negative or mean comments. They must be extremely unhappy and probably also extremely lonely people. They have a deep need for attention.
You just keep on sharing, Lisa! Your blog is quite fun and I will continue to look forward to your posts and videos. ๐
The other day I heard John Mayer respond to a โhow do you stay positive when people say such mean thingsโ question by saying, โYou know…we were never really meant to interact with this many people.โ Of course the ratio is bad based on the higher number of people youโre in front of. It made complete sense to me.
Besides. Many of us (smiley face) are happy with ANY comment. -ha! Negativity is a type of success ratio, I think. It also means youโre making actual statements about things and not trying to please everyone all the time.
You keep on keeping on – and we will too!
Hello Lisa!
Count me in as one of the people who reads and enjoys your blogs, your style, and the ideas you share.
When I took part in Writer’s Workshops and instructor gave us some good advice about the critiques we would receive.
“You receive gifts all the time; some of them tickle you, some of them fit, and some of them are treasures. But sometimes you receive a gift that is not appealing, or doesn’t fit you, or really, is a
burden. Do with criticism what you do with gifts: keep those that encourage you, wear those that fit, and put those gifts that delight you where you can see them all the time. Take the gifts that do none of those things and put them away in a dark, seldom used closet, give them away, and in some cases, totally discard them.”
I have paraphrased what she told us but I think you get the gist. I have found this to be helpful in practically every endeavor.
Keep on making this world a lovelier place. And thank you for doing that!
Love & Blessings, Cheryl Anderson